a question of etiquette

Perhaps this is a question for Miss Manners.

For many years in a restaurant when a man and a woman (couple or otherwise) dined together the check always went to the man unless it was obvious that the woman was the host. As the feminist movement gained strength that practice changed, I would say in the 1970’s, and the bill was usually put in a neutral spot on the table.

So here’s the question. We frequent an Irish pub at lunch and the waitress knows us well. I always pull out my American Express card to pay the bill. Last week she put the check directly in front of me. Since she knows us and our habits was that appropriate?

What would Miss Manners say?


3 Comments on “a question of etiquette”

  1. Alison Morgan says:

    I am certain that Miss Manners would say “Isn’t it lovely to have a waitress who knows what you need before you have to ask? Clearly she placed the bill within reach of the elderly gentleman with the American Express card so he didn’t have to risk injury reaching across the table.”

    In loving memory of Judy wherever she may be pouring the coffee….

  2. As someone who actually owns several Emily Post tomes, I would agree with Alison, and the server. It is polite to learn about your customers and treat them as well as you possibly can.

  3. […] mentioned Miss Manners in my blog last week. I realized that even though we get her once a week or so in the San Francisco Chronicle, I […]


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